Bad liar. Hyungwon thought to himself. He is now in front of the graveyard. It’s been 2 years since the incident. “I miss you….” tears ran down his cheeks heavily. He carefully put matthiola incana or stock flowers on top of the graveyard. The flowers brought so many memories and meaning to both of them. It’s the flowers that Kihyun gave to Hyungwon for their last anniversary. “Eternal Love, Eternal Beauty.” With hope they will continue to love each other even into the next life.

 

two years ago

 

6pm. Kihyun took a glance at his wrist watch. 1 hour before his part time shift starts. He just finished his classes and is now on his way to his part time job. Class during the day, a part time worker during the night. Kihyun’s everyday routine to afford his college fees. He lives with his only father after his mom passed away from chronic illness years ago. His dad is only working as a security guard at a nearby apartment. Therefore, Kihyun needs to pay his own college fees since his dad can only afford to pay their monthly rent and everyday needs.

 

630pm. Kihyun stopped his steps when he heard a loud murmuring at another side of the road. Plugging off his earphones, he tries to go near the situation to see what’s going on. 

 

“Please call my son….” A man in his 50s lay down with blood all over his shirt. It’s his dad. An ambulance coming their way. With tears overflowing his cheeks, he tightly holds his dad’s hands while his dad is currently unconscious. “Please save my dad please” Kihyun sounds more desperate.

​

7pm. “I am sorry Mr. Yoo. We couldn’t save your dad as we promised. We are very sorry. Please be strong. I have to leave now. Take care.”

 

Kihyun just stared without tears and his mind wasn’t even there. He was just standing in front of the Emergency Room alone for hours when his phone suddenly rang. He was contemplating answering the phone call because he was afraid of what the conversation would lead him to but he was left with no choice but to answer. He takes a deep breath before answering, “Hello, Kihyun? Are you there?” He just hummed at the end of line before the person on the phone started to talk, “I am sorry Kihyun. We have to fire you. You’ve been missing work for days. Your work performance went down really bad. We can’t face any more loss because of you. Take care.” The call ended. He was not even given any chance to explain himself. He just leaves out a sigh before....

 

730pm. When he is about to enter the emergency room to see his dad for the last time, a notification pops up. It’s from his university. He reads the email line by line. He couldn’t help but to cry when he finished reading the email. *ting* a message pops up. It’s from the university. An email to remind his overdue college fees. If he does not settle it before next week, he will get all zeros for his final examinations.

 

“Why does the world really hate me?” That's the first word that comes from his mouth when all he sees is just a lonely and dark road in front of him. He runs. Without any direction. Just run. To get away from this feeling.

 

9pm. His mind is a mess. All he wanted to do was die. He didn’t realise when but now he is on top of a building. He looks at his surroundings. Familiar place. “Aaaah this is my university.” This place used to be his escape place when he was feeling under the weather. Far from people. Far from the world, that’s what he feels. He moves slowly, step by step, to the edge of this building. He took a peek at the bottom. “Phewww quite tall huh.” He started to think about the probability that he is going to be killed if he jumps from this building now. When he is ready. He closes his eyes. “Help, anybody help. Save me. Please save me.”

​

9:15pm Kihyun opens his eyes when somebody grabs his hands and pushes him to the centre. “It's 100% idiot. You're going to die for sure.” Said the man. Kihyun looks at the person. With teary eyes, he shouts. “Why did you pull me off? Get out of my way. Don’t stop me!” To be very honest, he was kind of relieved. He is actually waiting for somebody to come and save him.

 

The man again starts to say, “If you want to die, please don’t do it in front of me. I don’t want to hold responsible of your stupid action.” Kihyun glares at the person before he realised, he did not want to die, and he just did not want to live. No. more accurate. He just did not have any more reason to live. He lost his only family member. He lost his part time job. At the edge of failing his studies. He was always alone. He had no friends. So why should he live anymore? He will never have anyone that waits for him at home anymore.

 

“Okay then leave! Let me do whatever I want here. Go away!” Kihyun shouted again. This time, it’s not that loud. He actually doesn’t want the man to hear that. He is doing that just to satisfy himself. The tall man just stares at Kihyun before walking away from him. “Okay, if you insist. Whatever I don’t care” When the tall man was about to leave the scene, Kihyun suddenly started to sob loudly and he is on knees now. “STAY PLEASE STAY NO IM SCARED”

 

The man decided to stay when he saw Kihyun was at his peak of devastation. “You’re lucky that you’re cute,” the man mumbled by himself. He then lets Kihyun calm himself down while he is beside him. They are now sitting next to each other at the centre of this rooftop. He was wondering what made Kihyun do this. He used to just ignore those desperate voices but this time he couldn’t help but to help this cute little hamster.

 

The man clears his throat when he sees Kihyun already calm and in his normal state (or at least what he believes) “hurm are you feeling better now? Here, I have iced americano with me. You can have one. It’s good to relief the tiredness.” He tried to start the conversation. “Thank you. Thank you for saving me.” Kihyun said with his eyes sparkled so much. The man could hear his heart beating so fast. Kihyun really has a pair of beautiful eyes.

 

“May I ask you something?” The man tries again to ask. Kihyun just nodded slowly. “Why do you want to die?” Kihyun looks at the tall for a while before letting out a small sigh… “Why should I live? I can’t even afford to live. no one gives me the will to live.” He clears his throat before continuing, “I have no more reason to live” He then looks at the sky and stares for a while. He usually doesn’t really open up to anyone about his feeling let alone a stranger that he met when he was about to suicide but for some reason, he wants to be heard. He wants somebody to listen to his story.

 

The man then took a glance at Kihyun. “You must have a hard time. I know I’m not in the position to tell you this but I don’t think you don’t have a reason to live. There are so many beautiful things yet to be discovered. Have you ever been to Europe? You should visit it before you die. Have you tried skydiving in New Zealand? God, that’s the best thing I have ever done in my whole life. You should try it one day. See there are lots of things you should do before you die. You have lots of reasons to live now, am I right?” Kihyun just looks at the sky. He started to think of all of the man’s suggestions. Maybe this man is right. For now. At least.

 

The tall man again tries to ask a new question when he sees Kihyun just stay silent and seems like he has no intention to start talking any time soon. “I am Hyungwon. Chae Hyungwon. Modelling major. How about you?” Kihyun started to pay attention to Hyungwon. “You’re very tall,” Kihyun murmurs slowly. A very popular student. Everyone here actually knows Hyungwon. Well, his parents are one of the biggest shareholders of this University. Athletic. “I’m Kihyun. I know you.” Hyungwon pretends to be shocked. He knew that everyone here knew him. “Hi Kihyun. Nice to meet you.” Hyungwon offers his hand for a handshake. Kihyun offers his hand for a handshake too.

 

Kihyun wants to get up but when Kihyun tries to get up, he suddenly feels dizzy and eventually he loses consciousness. “HEY!!!! WAKE UP!!!” Hyungwon panicked when Kihyun suddenly fell down to his lap and lost his consciousness.

 

11pm. After a few attempts of contemplation, Hyungwon decided to just bring Kihyun to his house. Luckily, he brought his car with him so he carefully lifts Kihyun with a bride style to his car and drives quickly to his house but when he arrives home, his phone starts to make a noise. His phone is now flooded by a few missed calls from Jooheon and Shownu, his ride or die circle of friends. They were supposed to meet at their usual bar since it's the weekend. Drink, party– name everything you can do during the weekend with your friends.

 

11:15pm. Hyungwon forgot that he has a promise with his best two bros to meet up at a bar earlier. That explains why he had three iced americano with him just now. Once he arrived at his house, he then gently put Kihyun in his room to avoid waking him up. He stares at Kihyun quietly. Kihyun’s face while under the night lamp looks too beautiful. His long eyelashes and a mole just beside his pretty curvy lips. Kihyun has very definite and pretty face lines. “He’s so cute.” Hyungwon thought to himself.

 

1130pm. When Hyungwon made the decision to bring Kihyun to his house, he never thought of any possibility that Kihyun might call the police because he basically brings him to his house that can be mistakenly taken as kidnapped. For some reason, he wants to know more about Kihyun. That’s why he brought Kihyun to his house instead of the hospital. He even lied to his friends just to bring Kihyun to his house. Hyungwon stares at sleeping Kihyun quietly. “Cute” he thought. His mind is already possessed by Kihyun right now. He even has already plotted a romantic, beautiful drama inside his mind. “Should I go down and leave him alone or sleep beside him? Or should I wait for him to wake up on this couch instead?” He mumbled to himself before he decided to just go down and do something else while waiting for Kihyun to wake up.

 

When Hyungwon went downstairs he started to panic because he didn't know what he should do after this. What should he do when Kihyun wakes up? Should he be cooking something or just order in anything? Or should he just meet his friends and leave a note to Kihyun? Hyungwon shook his head out of disagreement with himself. He shouldn't have been looking like a fool. “Okay in this situation, google is the best answer.” He quickly takes his phone out from his back pocket and searches on google for various things.

 

Google: What to do when there is a cute guy in your house?

 

Google: Does love at first sight really exist?

 

Google: Should I cook or order in if my cooking skills are at -10?

 

Google: What should I do to break the awkward situation?

 

While Hyungwon just basically having his gay panic alone, Kihyun then gently tap on Hyungwon’s shoulder. He jumped out of surprise. He never thought that Kihyun would wake up this soon. Now it’s time to panic even more. Did Kihyun see what he had been searching on Google?

 

Hyungwon quickly hid his phone out of embarrassment. He looks at Kihyun and asks “do you feel better? I’m sorry I brought you home without your concern. I don’t know what I should do when you suddenly blacked out????” Hyungwon could feel his back drain with his sweats. That's a pretty cute excuse. He did not want to bring Kihyun to hospital because he was afraid that this would be the last time they see each other. He wants to get to know Kihyun more. “It’s okay. I was about to call the police just now actually.” Kihyun smiles faintly. “Wait, I’ll bring you water.” Hyungwon quickly got up and walked towards the kitchen. Kihyun follows him. When Kihyun took the glass from Hyungwon’s hand, Hyungwon could feel their hands brush against each other. His ears suddenly turn red. Kihyun, who noticed that Hyungwon’s ears went rather hot red, quickly asks, “Why are your ears red???” Hyungwon shook his head to tell that it’s nothing.

 

Hyungwon then leads them to the living room. They are now sitting next to each other on the sofa. Hyungwon clears his throat before breaking the silence (the one he found on google) “So do you feel better?” Hyungwon starts. “Yes. Thanks to you.” Kihyun gives a smile again. That is the most beautiful smile Hyungwon has ever seen. “Glad that you are okay. Do you want to eat? I’m not a good cook so can we order anything?? Are you craving anything?” Hyungwon suggested. “No, it’s okay. I won’t be long. I just want to say thank you for saving me just now. Please forget whatever happened. I’m sorry for giving you so much trouble.” Hyungwon shook his head in disagreement with whatever Kihyun just said. “No. It’s my decision to help you. Life is not always beautiful. It’s okay. I understand you.” Hyungwon then slowly patted Kihyun’s back. “You’re a strong person.” Hyungwon said before he diverted his focus back to his phone.

 

“Do you like Chinese cuisine?” Hyungwon asks. Kihyun only gave a small nod. “Okay nice. Then Chinese cuisine it is.” Hyungwon starts dialing a number on his phone and starts ordering through a phone call. “What? No. I don’t want to eat.” Kihyun makes no gesture to Hyungwon. “Wdym no. Kihyun, you just fainted a few moments ago. You need to eat. Just how many days have you been starving yourself? Do you want to get a bath? You look.... miserable.” Hyungwon said with a firm voice. Kihyun just let out a small sigh. “Okay just one dinner and you have to let me go.” Hyungwon makes an okay gesture with his fingers.

 

Hyungwon stomps his feet slightly out of anxiety. His mind went blank. He doesn’t know what he should do in this kind of situation. Kihyun noticed it. “Hm, do you mind if I’m asking?” Kihyun finally breaks the silence between them. “Well, sure” Hyungwon starts to smile. “How do you end up at the rooftop as well? As far as I know, I’m the only one who always goes there. Also, before anything, I already make sure that no one is with me.” Kihyun starts to ask with a very curious eye. Now Hyungwon starts to panic. Hyungwon stayed silent for a few minutes. His mind is in chaos. He tries so hard to give the best answer he can without looking like a fool. He was at the rooftop because he saw Kihyun’s legs while he was about to take pictures of the sky from the top of the building. Few seconds passed, and suddenly his house‘s bell rang. “Nice timing!” Hyungwon thought. “That must be the delivery man. You should wait in the kitchen. I’ll bring the food to the kitchen later.” Hyungwon said to Kihyun.

 

Kihyun then quickly got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen. When he arrives at the kitchen. He could see how barely Hyungwon uses the kitchen. The kitchen almost seems dead as if no one ever uses it. “Does he live alone? No family picture at all. The kitchen.... he barely uses it” Kihyun thinks. So, he went to grab glasses filled with water and grab utensils before washing them. Hyungwon arrived with a few food packages with him. He ordered lots of food for two of them. He assumes that Kihyun is not eating yet so he purposely orders a lot for him. “Why so many? Who’s going to eat all of them?” Kihyun is shocked. “Who else? You and me? Have you seen anyone else besides us in this house?” Hyungwon puts the food on the table and starts to unpack them one by one.

 

While they eat, they share a lot of things with each other. Kihyun shared to him the reason why he was at the rooftop. What happened to him. What should he do tomorrow. Basically, about whatever happened today. The reason why he fainted is because he has low blood pressure in the first place. He shouldn’t miss any meals and he can’t be too tired, thus he will faint. Kihyun knows all of it. Hyungwon just nodded and listened carefully when Kihyun shared his story with him. Hyungwon finished his bowl. When he looks at Kihyun, he can’t help but to touch him. He quickly pulls a tissue and starts to wipe off the food stain at the corner of Kihyun’s lips. Kihyun was startled. He could hear his heart now beating like crazy. “Hey what are you doing??” Kihyun shouts out of embarrassment. Now it’s Kihyun’s time to turn red. His face now is burning with embarrassment. “I am sorry. Just. There's a food stain. You look cute though. Wait. Are you still sick? Why is your face really red??” Hyungwon starts to panic again. This time he put his hand on Kihyun’s forehead. Kihyun quickly pushes Hyungwon. “No!!” He gets up. He went to the bathroom quickly. If he stays any longer, he might as well have high blood pressure at this moment.

 

1am. When he gets out of the bathroom, he sees Hyungwon is already sitting on the sofa in the living room. “Have you cleaned up the kitchen already?” Kihyun asked. Hyungwon made an OK gesture. Kihyun then went to the kitchen to make sure Hyungwon was not lying. “He’s good.” Kihyun mumbled by himself. Kihyun then goes to the living room. It’s time to go. He is now sitting beside Hyungwon. Kihyun then takes a glass of water in front of him before drinking it. Then he put his glass on the coffee table. “I think I have to go now. Thank you again for saving me.” Kihyun gets up. When he is about to leave, Hyungwon stops him. “Wait. Let me give you a lift. Where do you stay? I can give you a ride.” Kihyun shows no gesture. “It’s okay. I can manage by myself from here. I don’t want to give you more trouble.” Hyungwon still holds Kihyun’s hand. “No. It’s dangerous out there. It’s almost dark. Let me give you a ride.” Hyungwon makes puppy eyes. “I’m 28 years old, Hyungwon. In case you want to know. Besides, I’m a guy. You don’t have to worry.” Hyungwon let out small sighs, “Old or not, guy or girl, criminals never care about it these days. It’s dangerous out there. You can’t go around alone.” Hyungwon’s voice came out as stern as possible. He then quickly gets up from the sofa and takes his car keys before both of them leave the apartment to the car park.

 

120am. They arrived in front of Kihyun’s apartment. “Wait!!” Hyungwon stops Kihyun from getting out of the car. Yeah. Again. “Yes Hyungwon? You’ve been stopping me from getting out for the fifth time already. What do you want to tell me actually?” Hyungwon just scratched the back of his head. It’s not itchy. He doesn’t even know why he keeps on stopping Kihyun from leaving his car. He just wants to spend more time with Kihyun. “Do you think we can meet again?” Hyungwon asked. “Maybe. Let's see. Time is the answer.” Kihyun answered. He just stares at his shoes. He wonders when if he will get a chance to change this sneaker. It’s been 2 years since he last changed his sneakers. Hyungwon is still determined to not let Kihyun go yet. “Do you want to go to an arcade?” This time Kihyun was genuinely shocked. He still couldn’t figure out why Hyungwon is being like this. “Are you feeling, okay? This is so random. I’m sorry. I’m tired. I need to sleep.” Hyungwon then takes out his phone and hands it to Kihyun. “Hey if you don’t mind, can I get your number? Maybe we can grab lunch next time? Please?” Kihyun just nodded and smiled. Hyungwon finally let him go. “This is stupid pfft Hyungwon what the hell is wrong with you. Not like you are not going to meet him anymore. You are in the same school.” He thought to himself.

 

130am. Kihyun broke into tears the moment he arrived at his home. This home has 1001 memories of him and his dad. They’ve been living here in this tiny apartment ever since Kihyun in second grade of middle school. Ever since his mom left them alone. Now he is truly alone. He went to his dad’s room. Clean up all the mess inside the room. Packing up all his clothes. He lied to Hyungwon. He is tired but he could never sleep. He just wants a me time. He just wants to be alone. He has been crying for 2 hours now. He started to pack his things too. He knows, sooner or later he has to leave this house. This house is based on rent and he couldn’t afford to pay the rent anymore since he lost the job. He needs to find a new job. He takes out his phone from his backpack. Wait, where is my phone? He tries to look at every inch of his backpack. No signal. No phone. He tries to search his jeans this time. Still no sight of his phone.

 

Meanwhile Hyungwon is at his house….

 

“Maybe I should try to call him. But wait, what should I talk with him over the phone?” Hyungwon clears his throat and starts to practice in front of his full-length mirror. “Hey is this Kihyun?” He shook his head. “No no that sounds awkward let’s try again” he breathes in slowly. “Hey what’s up, it's Hyungwon!” He shook his head again. “Ok no that’s rude. Oh, my what should I do?? This is more difficult than walking in a runaway!!” Hyungwon sighs. He takes out his phone and starts to dial Kihyun’s number. But no answer. He tries again. This time, he heard a phone ringing beside him. How clumsy this guy could be. He left his phone. Oh, wait YES! He quickly went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. He chooses the sexiest t-shirt he has and slick back his wet hair. He’s been told by everyone that he looks handsome and sexy in this. He quickly went downstairs and drove to Kihyun’s house.

 

Suddenly a knock was heard from his front door. “Who’s there?” Kihyun asked. “It’s Hyungwon! You left your phone at my house a while ago” Kihyun let out a sigh of relief. He is afraid his phone will be missing. He still has not yet finished paying the monthly payment. He couldn’t afford to buy a new phone either. Kihyun opens his front door and Hyungwon....... with wet hair, white translucent plain t shirt and a pair of tight jeans. Perfect. “I’m sorry. I was in a rush. I was getting shower when I heard your phone ringing. So, I rushed to your house afterwards.” Hyungwon explained. “I see. Who’s calling?” Hyungwon just pouted. “How rude of me. Come in. I’m sorry. There’s nothing much inside this house. You must be freezing cold in this weather.” Kihyun offered. Hyungwon then takes off his sneakers and starts to wonder his eyes around Kihyun’s house.

 

“Your dad is handsome. Just like you” Kihyun could feel his cheeks burning up again. Kihyun quickly went to the kitchen to serve Hyungwon a glass of water. They just sat on the sofa without saying anything before Hyungwon broke the silence. “Are you going somewhere else?” Hyungwon asked while pointing at the piles of clothes. “I guess so. I think I have to move out soon. I can’t afford to pay the rent anymore. I lost my part time job. I have to take a differ one Sem from university. So, I guess I will go back to my hometown. My late grandmother’s house.” Kihyun explained. “Oh” Hyungwon made a sad face. Does it mean he will never get to see Kihyun anymore? Hyungwon thought. “When are you going to your hometown?” Hyungwon asked. “Maybe tomorrow. After I'm done with my dad’s funeral.” Hyungwon just nodded. “Wait, can I tag along?” Kihyun makes a WHAT face. They are still strangers yet Hyungwon seems all clingy with Kihyun already. “I’m sorry for asking. I thought you might be lonely if you go alone. I can accompany you? I’m not funny enough but I could entertain and comfort you when you feel lonely. Besides it’s the semestral break. I have never been to a rural area before!” Hyungwon explained. Such a bad liar. And dumb.

 

The next two days, Hyungwon, who only will open his eyes at 1pm on weekends, already wakes up at 8am. He chose his best long coat and jeans to pair with his favourite white t-shirt, ready to go accompany Kihyun throughout his semester break. To be honest, Hyungwon was supposed to fly to Japan as his dad wanted him to learn the company basics while he is on semester break but he told his parents that he has lots of unsettled things to do here in Korea and promised to come back one last week before the new semester starts. When he is about to grab his car keys, suddenly his door’s bell rings. He was not expecting any guests, especially not at 9am in the morning. When he opened his door, he did not expect his friends - Shownu, Minhyuk (who was being forced by Shownu to join) & Jooheon in front of the door.

 

“What are you guys doing here??? And what’s with that luggage?!” Hyungwon asked with a high tone. He did not recall any of their plans that maybe slipped out of his mind. “We’re going with you. To Goyang.” Shownu and Jooheon almost speak in unison. They both look like a couple of kids that are really happy to follow their brother to anywhere he goes. Sighs. Hyungwon starts to panic. How to stop them from following him and before that he needs to tell them the truth. What should he say to them? He falls in love at first sight of the guy that almost jumps out of a high building? What is he? A prince?

 

The real reason why Shownu, Jooheon and Minhyuk, who is being forced to go by his boyfriend, is because Shownu insisted to follow Hyungwon because Hyungwon just lied to them. When they asked him to go to a party this weekend, Hyungwon rejected it and told them that he is going back to his hometown in Goyang when Jooheon is literally his best friend since they’re just kids. Jooheon knows that Hyungwon has no hometown and his parents are in Japan now. Hyungwon has been acting suspicious since the day they were supposed to meet up at the bar two days ago too. “I’m sorry, I can’t bring both of you with me. I want to be alone.” Says Hyungwon. Jooheon rolled his eyes and said, “Come on hyung. Don’t lie to us. Whose hometown actually? Ok hyung, if you don’t tell us the truth, we will force you to bring us along. We are all ready to go with you.” Hyungwon started being anxious. He couldn't bring all of them because he wanted to get to know and spend more time with Kihyun. “Hyung, I don’t know if I remember it wrongly but I have been your friend since elementary school! You’re living with your grandparents before the accident and I was there the whole time. I went to their funerals. I don’t remember if you have any other grandparents though also....... you’re pure Seoul hyung” Jooheon said with frustration. How could he lie to them when Jooheon literally grew up with him. He totally forgot that Jooheon is his best friend since school days and knows him inside out. Hyungwon quickly raised the white flag. He gives up. “Alright I’ll tell you guys but promise me that you won’t get in my way anymore.” Everyone nodded like kindergarten kids.

 

Hyungwon began his storytelling and how he wanted to know Kihyun more and how he wanted to help Kihyun. Now the mystery was solved and they agreed to let Hyungwon carry on with his mission. In fact, they’re so happy with it. Especially Jooheon. This is a very good progress. Hyungwon has never been in any relationship for years… “Hyung, do you mind if we meet him? Aaaa I’m so curious about this guy!! I need to know the guy who is responsible for making Hyungwon’s heart race like this!” Minhyuk started to stomp his feet on the floor like a puppy. Because of his cuteness, Hyungwon agreed with it and called Kihyun. They all went to the nearest cafe to meet Kihyun.

 

“Hi I’m Kihyun.” Kihyun greeted them shyly and proceed to sit beside Hyungwon. Hyungwon not knowing what to do with his gay-panicking ass couldn’t stay still. He keeps on stomping his feet and turning red every time they teased him. Kihyun just thought Hyungwon as a cute guy in front of his friends. Hyungwon has lots of friends. He thought. They talk, laugh, share stories. “Oh photography! Amazing. I’ve always wanted to get to know more about it” says Minhyuk. “Do you mind explaining to me?” Suddenly the bell ringing on their table. Kihyun quickly get up to get the drinks. When he returns to the table, he hits somebody. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I wasn’t looking properly I’m sorry” Kihyun is panic. He quickly takes the tissue and wipe the messy he did to the guy. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just this shirt is quite expensive though” the man speaks. He looked up to see his face when Jooheon shouted excitedly. “Changkyun? Im Changkyun???” Jooheon shouted again. They both suddenly hug each other as if they are long lost brothers. Turns out it's Changkyun, Jooheon’s friend from Boston when he was studying there for a while. They unconsciously invited Changkyun over and he unconsciously joined them. The whole time, Changkyun just stared at panicking Kihyun who is now worried about Changkyun’s expensive shirt. Before they parted, Kihyun left his phone number to Changkyun because he wanted to be responsible for it. Due to that, they become closer to each other.

 

weeks after their-so-called goyang trip 

 

Kihyun wakes up with the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen. It was rather loud, and sounded like someone preparing Chinese cuisine. He lazily walks out from the bedroom and the moment he enters the kitchen; he sees Hyungwon is busy stirring something on the kitchen table while humming a song.

 

"Are you sure that you are not a chef from a Chinese restaurant?" Kihyun smiles while looking at Hyungwon who’s too focused on cooking. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry did I wake you up? I'm planning to do so after done making breakfast", he replied. Surprise, in awkward way . Kihyun give him a sudden nudge.

 

"Thank god, the kitchen is still okay or else I'm going to die a virgin because of you and so I’ll hunt you as a virgin ghost if I die", he dramatically voiced out.

 

"Hey not dead topic early this morning. But a virgin ghost? Interesting", he playfully smirks and makes Kihyun roll his eyes "should I be sorry or give you smack for the last sentence".

 

"Sorry", Hyungwon gave Kihyun the cutest eye smile.

 

"Apologies accepted", Kihyun replies while walking to the fridge. "Orange juice or milk"

 

"How about you? Hehe ok I’m kidding sir. Orange juice please", He then put the food on a plate before putting the fry pan at the sink.

 

“Thank you for the food.” Says Kihyun as soon as Hyungwon puts his plate on the dining table.

 

“You know. This is the first time somebody has cooked for me in 10 years. My dad has been sick since my mom passed away, which was 10 years ago and no one has ever cooked for me since then.” Kihyun says while taking a few bites of Hyungwon’s French toast. Hyungwon just stares at Kihyun. If he could, he wants to kiss and pat Kihyun and say that he’s the strongest person he has ever seen and tell him he did a good job.

 

Both of them continue silently to have their breakfast together— probably too immersed with the sound of the birds chirping outside of the window. It’s a cozy and lovely morning to start with. Everything feels perfect.

 

And both of them wish this to stay forever.

 

the last night of goyang trip

 

“Why do you feel like dying?” Hyungwon asks with curious eyes. “I don’t know. I just feel like it sometimes.” Kihyun answered. He stays calm. He looks at the sky. “You still haven’t answered me Hyungwon,” Kihyun asked. Hyungwon started to sweat. “What question? Hyungwon asked. “How did you end up on the rooftop? You weren’t there when I arrived.” This time, Kihyun tilted his head to face Hyungwon. Hyungwon’s ears turn red automatically. He just laughed before answering, “When I was kid, I got into an accident. It was very tragic. It killed both of my grandparents.” Hyungwon took a deep breath before continuing, “I used that rooftop as an escape plan.” He smiles. “It was my grandparents’ death anniversary.” “I simply went there just to be near the sky.” Hyungwon explained, still keeping his calm face.

 

Kihyun just nodded slowly and tried to change the topic, “The sky is beautiful today, right? They said when we die, if we do a lot of good deeds, we will become one of the stars. Is my dad one of them?” Kihyun started to sob. He still stares at the sky. “Tonight’s stars are looking so bright. I hope I can see this with you, dad. I miss you. I’m with my friend. I have a friend now, dad!” Kihyun said with excitement. “I guess I won’t be alone anymore at school after this, right Hyungwon?” Hyungwon just smiles looking at Kihyun. He must have suffered a lot. Kihyun ah I won’t let you suffer anymore. Kihyun still stares at the sky in hope it was his dad watching over him from above. He misses him every day but today is exceptionally a lot. Thanks to Hyungwon who is beside him right now, he feels less lonely.

 

Hyungwon takes one closer to Kihyun and makes sure there is no gap between them. Days and weeks pass so fast here. The more he knows about Kihyun the deeper he falls in love with Kihyun. That’s it. He decided to confess tonight. “You are pretty tonight like the stars on the sky” Hyungwon said while facing really close to Kihyun before continue, “Kihyun, i'm actually...”

 

TING! TING! TING! Hyungwon’s confession was cut off by a massive message from his parents to remind him of his flight tomorrow and make sure to bring necessary things with him and so he replied to his parents’ message back since if he didn’t reply to them, they will be worried and call him instead. Once done, he looks at Kihyun again. “What do you want to say again?” Kihyun asks with his furious eyebrows. Kihyun’s face under the moonlight looked so beautiful. Hyungwon then starts to hold Kihyun’s both hands before continuing, “I think I fell in love with you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every second I spent with you these past weeks really the best weeks ever happened in my life. I wish the time will stop so I can stare at you the whole time.” Hyungwon takes a deep breath then continues, “I know this sounds crazy and rather too fast, but… do you want to be my boyfriend, yoo Kihyun?” Hyungwon kneels down and takes out something from his jeans, a bracelet that they customized together while strolling around downtown. Kihyun starts to tear up. “Yes….” And he immediately hugs Hyungwon. And the rest of the day is just full of them admiring each other and cuddling before Hyungwon has to leave for Japan.

 

Days, weeks, months have passed so quickly while they are still in love with each other and cherish each other. Without them knowing, it’s been 4 months since they started dating. They become the most powerful couple at the college. A rich and popular basketball guy from model major coupled with nerd and top student from photography major? What a combo. Today is a special day. Their 4th month anniversary. Kihyun decided to cook for Hyungwon and bought him flowers. Matthiola incana or stock flowers with eternal love as the meaning, he carefully put it in their bedroom. He set up everything and cooked in their house while waiting for Hyungwon to come home. Hyungwon did mention that he is going to be late as today he has an overdue project to finish so Kihyun took this opportunity to cook for them and celebrate their anniversary.

 

8pm. Hyungwon is still not available to reach and has not yet come home. Kihyun starts to panic. He is afraid that anything could happen to Hyungwon. And so, he quickly rushes to take a bus to the university. He tried to call Hyungwon many times but got no answer from him. He even called Shownu & Jooheon but both of them also do not know Hyungwon’s whereabouts.

 

“Why don’t you like me?” Wonho asks furiously. “Wdym, I like you....” Wonho pushes Hyungwon against the wall. He leans his body towards Hyungwon. He takes one more step to Hyungwon. He makes sure there is no gap between him and Hyungwon. He leans his cherry lips to Hyungwon’s thick lips. Hyungwon was too shocked. Too shocked that he closes his eyes out of his will. Kihyun saw it. Kihyun saw from the moment Hyungwon said he likes wonho too. Kihyun ran away. He cried a lot. He runs to the rooftop where he first met Hyungwon.

 

Who the f....... is that Kihyun? Changkyun get up from his place. Since he accidentally discovered this place, he always went here if he wants to escape from anything. He slowly approaches a crying Kihyun. “Hey” Changkyun calls Kihyun. Kihyun stops crying. “Are you okay?” Changkyun then pass a tissue to Kihyun. Kihyun just nodded slowly. “You know, today is a beautiful day. A beautiful man shouldn’t be crying at this hour.” Changkyun stares at the sky. Kihyun starts to sob even harder. Changkyun who seems flustered of the crying Kihyun just hug him in attempt to calm him down. Kihyun then told him that he saw Hyungwon with wonho kissed. Changkyun knows that Hyungwon and Kihyun are in a relationship and he did not expect that Hyungwon is a cheater. Changkyun who feel like his angry fire almost explodes from his chest, get up and drag Kihyun to the said place. When he saw Hyungwon and Wonho still kissing each other, he did not hesitate for a second and gave Hyungwon a punch. “ASSHOLE!” Changkyun explodes. Hyungwon who startled with everything try to look at the direction of who gave him a bruise and he saw a crying Kihyun at the corner of this huge auditorium. And that’s when he realized what just happened. He runs to Kihyun and with multiple sorry come out from his mouth. While Hyungwon try to explain himself, Kihyun cut him off and told him that they are over. Kihyun then leaves with Changkyun and Hyungwon with Wonho in that auditorium.

 

The next day, Hyungwon, who was afraid to come home last night, finally reached home after a few contemplations. When he reached his home, all Kihyun’s belongings and himself were already gone. On their dining table, the food Kihyun had prepared the whole day yesterday was gone. And he discovered flowers with a card on it. He cries again when read the card. He then quickly tries to contact Kihyun but all his calls were rejected and went to the voicemails. One place. He drives to goyang to find Kihyun. When he arrives, Kihyun looks so miserable and just stares at the sky alone. Hyungwon started to kneel down and beg for forgiveness from Kihyun. “Please forgive me. You’re the only one for me. Please become mine again.” Hyungwon said almost desperate. Kihyun just laughed and said no in which he then dragged Hyungwon out from his house. Since then, they never see or meet each other again.

 

weeks after the break up 

 

Changkyun and Kihyun promise to meet up at one of the famous bars in Seoul with a rooftop view. They just drink, and talk together since it’s been a while, they catch up with each other. And that’s when Changkyun starts to clear his throat and continue, “Kihyun. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while. I had no courage before.” Changkyun starts his conversation. He stared at the sky then he looked at Kihyun while holding Kihyun’s hand, he asked “I like you. I have liked you from the day we met at the cafe. I like you from the day you washed up my shirt. I have liked you since forever Kihyun.” He stops, then continues, “will you be my boyfriend?” He smiles beautifully. Kihyun doesn’t know what to do

 

He casually said yes.

 

the life of changki relationship 

 

Changkyun, who knows that Kihyun is having a hard time, offers Kihyun to stay with him in Seoul. Since Kihyun is already taking a sem defer so Changkyun suggested Kihyun can find part time jobs here since it is much easier than at his hometown and Kihyun agreed with it. Next few days, Changkyun helps Kihyun to pack his things at Goyang and bring them to his house in Seoul. Changkyun lives alone in an apartment.

 

“Do you like it?” Changkyun asks. Kihyun just nodded softly. This is actually more than enough. The apartment actually is big enough for a family to live in. As soon as Kihyun unpack his things, he goes to the kitchen and cooks dinner for Changkyun while Changkyun is playing games on his computer. The next few weeks of their relationship seems okay. No arguments, no fights, no misunderstandings. Kihyun also found a part time job.

 

Kihyun seems happy with Changkyun. Though Changkyun always comes home late, he never sleeps out and Kihyun always makes sure he cooks dinner for Changkyun and waits for Changkyun to come home. They always eat dinner together. Besides college, Changkyun needs to go to his dad’s company once in a while since he needs to learn the company basics, that’s why he always comes home late. They were really happy together until at one moment when Changkyun saw Kihyun going out with Jooheon alone without Changkyun knowing about it.

 

-

 

Numerous hits were heard throughout the apartment. Physical contact that came from anger, hatred, and obsession. No one heard the pleading or screaming coming from the apartment. "Kihyun, I told you millions of times to answer my phone when I call you!!! And you disobey me?!??!" Changkyun yells at Kihyun as he grips the collar of Kihyun’s shirt, lifting Kihyun off the ground. Kihyun started to cough a fit as a trickle of blood ran down his chin. Kihyun was having trouble breathing due to the harsh grip of his boyfriend.

 

"Changkyun..." Kihyun spoke, his voice strained. "I'm sorry, l-" Kihyun was cut off by being thrown to the ground harshly. Pain shot through his body like millions of needles were being stuck into his body.

 

"NO FCKING EXCUSE!!!" Changkyun screeches as he sends a kick into Kihyun’s fragile stomach. Kihyun tried to scream out the pain, but found no sound coming out. The only thing that came out was the hot tears streaming down his face. "How do I know that you’re not having a guy over??!?! Or on the phone with another guy??!?!” All I did was not answer his call by accident, it’s not my fault l was in the shower at that time. Kihyun mutters as low as possible the sentence. The final blow landed on Kihyun’s face, making a loud CRACK, almost as if he broke a bone. The only sounds in this apartment he could hear was the struggle of breathing and the endless coughing up blood.

 

"God Kihyun, if you stop disobeying me, I wouldn't have to hurt you..." muttered Changkyun as he shook his head. Excuses. That's all Kihyun heard from him as excuses. I was angry. l was drunk. You disobey me. You provoked me. Kihyun’s eyes were closed due to the pain he was suffering. Changkyun then walked up the stairs to the bedroom. He lay Kihyun down softly on his bed as he went to the bathroom to run Kihyun a bath. As Kihyun heard the running water filling up the tub, Kihyun just stared up into the ceiling like a motionless body. Kihyun's whole entire body was in pain. He couldn't move and it was hard to breathe every breath he took in. Not to mention, his body was scattered with freshly new scars and bruises. He wanted to close his eyes, but he was afraid to close his eyes, not knowing what Changkyun would do to him. Kihyun has been in a short yet painful, mentally and physically abused relationship, with his boyfriend, Im Changkyun.

 

Changkyun will insult Kihyun, beat him, and work him past his limit. Changkyun makes him feel as though he was nothing, but mere garbage, possibly less than that. Kihyun on the other hand, would cook, clean, wash well, even help Changkyun with his class work that he'll bring home from the college. Kihyun was definitely the definition of a perfect housewife! But to Changkyun, Kihyun is his property. And he'll do whatever he wants to Kihyun. Kihyun didn't understand why Changkyun treated him so cruelly. Changkyun was such a gentleman at the beginning. From the moment both of them met in a cafe, Kihyun thought that they were going to spend the rest of their life together. Changkyun used to say that he loved Kihyun’s laugh, smile, corny jokes, everything. So where did the love go? Kihyun has no idea. Part of Kihyun thinks that Changkyun still loves him, but a huge part of him thinks otherwise. Well, whether Changkyun loves him or not, his actions are unforgivable and pure evil.

 

“Kihyun” Changkyun called him. His lifeless eyes travel to his boyfriend, who stood beside his bedside. To be honest, he did not want to see Changkyun’s face, let alone stay in the same room with Changkyun. But all he can do is stare at Changkyun. "You know I love you, right?" No response from Kihyun. Not even a motion. Kihyun blinked a couple times, unsure how to answer that... "RIGHT!!!" Changkyun screams and that makes Kihyun jump slightly on the bed. Kihyun nodded his head vigorously as his bipolar boyfriend gave him a toothy grin. Changkyun then crawled on top of Kihyun’s bruised body, staring so lovingly in your eyes, well at least that's what he thought.

 

"That's great you love me baby because I love you and I always will...” Changkyun said. He then put his lips close to Kihyun’s ear and whisper in a deadly tone "till the deaths do us part...” Shivers ran down Kihyun’s spine as the only response Kihyun gave Changkyun was a simple nod. Changkyun then smirks and harshly kiss Kihyun’s lips. Kihyun didn't respond to the kiss, since it felt like some type of vile thing that Kihyun wanted out from his mouth. Changkyun didn’t stop, he then harshly bit Kihyun’s lips causing Kihyun to gasp and to slip his tongue into his mouth. Kihyun tries to get out of the kiss, but since Kihyun was pinned down, it is invalid. Why would he do this? It’s not like he cares about me, right? I feel no spark, no magic, no nothing. I'm just his toy, who he can play whenever he wants to. No, don't say that, he still loves you. He just has a hard time showing it... right? After minutes of kissing, Changkyun finally releases Kihyun, a trail of saliva coming between Kihyun. Kihyun was breathing heavily from the lack of breath that endure while they were kissing (even though Changkyun the one who did the most)

 

"Get yourself clean up; I ran a bath for you.“ Changkyun whispers against Kihyun’s lips. Kihyun moves his head up and down as he quickly and swiftly gets out of bed. As he made his way to the bathroom, he felt a harsh slap on his butt. Kihyun turns his attention to Changkyun as he smirks at Kihyun. Kihyun mentally rolls his eyes as he proceeds to the bathroom.

 

Kihyun grabbed the rag that was full of medical stuff and applied it to his body. He hisses every stroke he makes on his body. Though the soothing, hot, water calmed him, he was still in a dark place. His body was painted with bruises, scratches, and healed scars, mostly from his so-called boyfriend. Most of the time, Kihyun doesn’t know what he has been doing to deserve this pain and suffering. A couple times, he didn't understand it and he wanted out of the relationship. But now, he came to terms that he will just have to accept it and conclude that this was his life and that there was no such thing as love. As soon as he got done cleansing himself, he sighs. Hold on Kihyun, hold on. He told himself repeatedly as he covered his body with a towel. Soon it will be all over.... he promised to himself "Hurry your ass up! it’s not like you can fix yourself up. You’re ugly as it is." Yells Changkyun from outside, startling Kihyun so much that he drops his toothbrush into the water. He sighs quietly as he cleanses the toothbrush. He then brushes his pearly teeth and wash his damaged face. As he was about to exit the bathroom, he looked himself in the mirror. Why the hell am I so ugly?! There's nothing special about me. I can’t handle this... too much pain......

 

After he was done with shower, Changkyun gave Kihyun his phone. “Because you were acting good today. I will give you a gift. You like chicken, right? Now call the chicken place and place an order. Just order whatever you want.” Changkyun said while taking his phone from his back pocket and giving it to Kihyun.

 

When Changkyun gets up and walks to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, Kihyun instead of calling the chicken place, he dials Hyungwon's phone number instead.
 

🐢: Hi this is Hyungwon speaking.

 

🐹: Hi I would like to order chicken.

 

🐢: think you got the wrong number. This is not a chicken place. Who’s there? Wait, why does your voice seem familiar though?

 

🐹: I know. I’m Kihyun.

 

🐢: Kihyun? Where are you now? Is this your new number?

 

🐹: 102-dong 304-ho, Sajik-ro-3-gil 23. Fried chicken please.

 

🐢: Do you want me to buy you chicken?

 

🐹: No, it’s okay. Just come here. We will wait.

 

🐢: Hey are you okay?

 

🐹: No. Please. More sauce.

 

🐢: You wait there. I’ll come to you in 10 minutes.

 

🐹: Yes. Please. Faster.

 

“Good boy,” Changkyun said while patting Kihyun's head. He took the phone and kept it inside his back pocket. Kihyun just cry in silence. He hopes Hyungwon will come to the rescue. It’s been a month since he has to endure all the pains. He doesn’t know when all of these got wrong. He did everything that Changkyun asked but Changkyun still goes violent with him. “Kihyun. Do you know I love you? Do you want to know why I did all of these?” Kihyun just gave a small nod. Changkyun started to pull all Kihyun’s hair to the back. “Because you fcking cheated behind my back!!! I saw you Kihyun. I saw you met Jooheon at the school. You guys were holding hands!! How dare you?!?!! How dare of him?!?! I told you many times, didn’t I???? That you’re mine and only mine, solely mine?!?! Don’t you understand it bastard??? So, take this as your lesson. Don’t you ever dare to look at other guys beside me. Do you hear me???!?” Changkyun said furiously. Kihyun just nodded while crying. Changkyun now getting angrier because Kihyun keep on crying. Changkyun kicked Kihyun’s rib. When he is about to slap Kihyun’s cheeks, the house’s bell ringing. “I’ll get the chicken. You wait there. Don’t you dare to move or I’ll kill you this time!!” Changkyun gets up and walks towards the front door. When he opens the door, he saw Hyungwon. Hyungwon shortly after Changkyun opens the door, he enters the house while pushing Changkyun aside. “Where’s Kihyun you little shit?!?!!??” Hyungwon grabs Changkyun’s collar. He walks around the house to search for Kihyun. He started to yell Kihyun’s name. Changkyun grab Hyungwon’s shoulder from behind roughly . He then kicks Hyungwon until he hits the corner of this living room. Hyungwon screams in pain. “I thought you guys were happy!! I THOUGHT KIHYUN WAS HAPPY WITH YOU!!!!!” Hyungwon yell in frustration. “He is happy with me. How do you know my house? Why are you here?” Changkyun said while his feet on Hyungwon’s stomach. Hyungwon try to get up. He starts to punch Changkyun’s face. And he runs to one of the nearest rooms. He found Kihyun. Crying while crouching his body in the corner of the room. He runs towards Kihyun. He looks at Kihyun face. Bruises here and there. Cold blood here and there. No colour. Pale. Dry tears. Just a fainted smile on his face. “You came. Finally,” Kihyun said weakly. “Hey what happened to you. How all of these happened? I thought you were happy. I thought you guys were happy. How...” Hyungwon didn’t get to finish his words. Changkyun kick his back and pull him to the corner. “Don’t you ever dare to lay your filthy fingers on my property!!! He is mine!!!” Changkyun started to get rough. He gives Hyungwon a punch in his face. Hyungwon did the same. “He is not a doll. He is a human. What have you done Changkyun???” Hyungwon grabbed Changkyun’s collar this time. “Because he fcking cheated on me!!!” Changkyun this time pushed Hyungwon behind. He then grabs a knife from his back pocket. When he is about to stab Hyungwon, Kihyun comes in a way so in result, Changkyun accidentally stabs Kihyun instead of Hyungwon. Hyungwon sobs hard beside Kihyun. He then put his jacket and push the wound with his jacket. “Kihyun... wait I’ll call the ambulance. Please stay with me”. Kihyun just gave a small nod and said in between his breath, “I’m sorry Hyungwon.... I really am sorry” Hyungwon hugged Kihyun tightly. “No Kihyun no. I love you. That’s what I want to say to you. I want to tell you that I won’t give up on you no matter what. So please stay with me. Please don’t leave me. please” Kihyun hold Hyungwon’s hand tightly. When Hyungwon is about to get up, Kihyun mumbles by himself, “I’m such a bad liar, wasn’t I? I…. Still love you too” before he closes his eyes.

 

Hyungwon, who is not aware of the last word from Kihyun, gets up from him. He then grabs Changkyun by his collar and a punch lands on Changkyun’s face. They aggressively punched each other here and there nonstop. Changkyun then runs to the kitchen and takes a small kitchen knife with him. When Hyungwon was about to kick Changkyun in his ass he heard a noise from outside.

 

“HYUNGWON HYUNG!!! ARE YOU THERE???” A loud voice was heard from outside the house. Changkyun was startled. He tried to flee from the scene but the police moved faster than him. He was caught on the scene with lots of blood all over him. Jooheon quickly grabs Hyungwon’s shirt and cries. “Hyung… What happened? Please don’t leave me. I'm sorry hyung. This is all my fault. Don’t leave me hyung. I’m scared” Jooheon sobbed hard beside Hyungwon. Hyungwon just smiled faintly before he fainted.

 

present 

 

“Hi, Mr Chae. How do you feel today?” Ask Dr. Kang to Hyungwon for his monthly check up. After the incident, Hyungwon is suffering from depression and self-blaming with post-incident trauma. Shownu then brought him to this hospital as his parents actually own this hospital to treat him. Hyungwon had been caught by Jooheon several times to self-harm after college. After the incident, Hyungwon took a year-long break. Changkyun. He is now under life sentences. He is in prison. He’s suffering because he has a bad temper, an alcoholic and obsession towards Kihyun.

 

Such a bad liar. He promised to Kihyun to forget about Kihyun and move on with life. But he ends up just suffering from depression and self-guilt the rest of his life. Never ever once did he forgot Kihyun and still keep Kihyun’s photo in his wallet.