This Autumn Town
(Where the Leaves Can Fall) 

MyriadMystics

A swirl of brown, red, and yellow leaves danced along as they fell to the ground, settling on the dying grass below. Melodies of birds speaking in their secret language to one another filling the possibility of any silence. The various colors of a chilly, yet late golden afternoon reflected on the waters surface as gentle waves pushed and pulled along the wide river. 

The month of October felt almost like a dream, like a story telling itself through the life of the city and nature of there were no people. 

Well..that's what Hyungwon believed. 

Sitting on a bench that faced the river in the city, Hyungwon currently sat waiting on a friend as he looked out at the sight before him. A breeze swept through his black hair, as a small noise escaped his lips at the chill. Luckily the warmth of the sun balanced out the chill as he looked down at the clock of his phone sitting in his lap. His friend, Kihyun, had told him to meet him there first ahead of the end of his work, stating he wanted to take some pictures and had something to talk to the taller about. Initially Hyungwon complained about the autumn weather and wondered why they couldn't meet at a coffee shop instead. The elder's insistence on being somewhere less crowded (and promise of a free beverage) if he just would humor him for a change, however, changed the younger's mind as they shortly had hung up from their conversation earlier that afternoon. 

Surprisingly, Hyungwon was glad he had agreed in the end as he watched the world alive out in front of him. It was calm, the echoes of the water, the cars moving from place to place in the far background of the city behind him, the rustling of the trees with each silent breeze…it was all really like a moving painting. It was almost…romantic. This made him chuckle as he straightened the collar of his white turtleneck following the sleeves of his black sweater back down where they had bunched up at the elbows before hands came to rest on dark grey jeans. 

His mind shortly after started to wander as he sat waiting. Kihyun had told him about a desire to take pictures of the changing season, stating he wanted them for a project he was working on. Initially, Hyungwon had thought nothing of it as just a friendly meetup until he remembered the other had said multiple times before that his "picture adventures" were his time to "recuperate and be alone". The fact that the shorter man was adamant that day to meet for the stated reason started to make the black haired male question his friend's real motive. Photography with the younger.. in the late afternoon of an October day…for a mere "meetup"? It made him start to doubt that was the real reason. 

Of course, it wasn't that Hyungwon didn't like spending time with Kihyun. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The elder of them was the person he preferred spending time with the most when he was given the opportunity. The two of them were almost complete opposites in their logical sense or with how they handled situations, yet how they felt emotionally about things no matter the topic, both of them expressed their feelings in ways that were near identical. Emotionally, the two of them were in sync. And that was one of the main reasons he preferred his time with Kihyun. He could talk about the world and express himself without worry he'd be lost in translation or that his emotions would be confusing and convoluted. They could even share their artistic views together, getting lost in the depth of how something made them feel. And together..all of this made Hyungwon over time become fond for Kihyun. A fondness that had over the past year only grown stronger and every little memory through their years together made his cheeks feel warm and his stomach feel like it was going through the changes of the seasons. It was a feeling that brought him joy and comfort he could even admit. 

Caught in a daze as he started to reminisce in his seat, Hyungwon hadn't noticed the figure that had come up next to the bench where he sat. It was only when he heard a clearing of someone's throat that he snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to see Kihyun standing near him, holding out a drink. The man looked around cautiously as if he was making sure the place was secluded, waiting on Hyungwon to grab the cup before finally moving around to sit beside him. Hyungwon couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips as he sipped at the warm drink that felt rather comforting versus the colder temperature. His attention then shifted to look over at the man sitting beside him.

To Hyungwon, Kihyun always looked like someone who belonged on every magazine and screen of every corner of the world. Brown hair slicked back, black turtleneck and slacks, all rounded out together with dark grey and yellow plaid overcoat..in the moment he almost felt too unreal to the taller man. Except, it was his expression that made Hyungwon give pause. Kihyun looked rather unsettled as he stared down at the ground, hands clutching his cup a little too tightly.

"Kihyun..are you alright?"

The brunette looked up and over, clearly now aware he was being looked at as he adjusted himself in his seat, a flicker of embarrassment in his eyes and tint of pink on his cheeks. Was he blushing or..?

"Ah! Yeah yeah. All good. Just..thinking. No trouble here." He gave a rather nervous chuckle before finally taking a sip of his drink. Hyungwon however raised a brow, not completely convinced, but for his friend's sake he wasn't going to push.

"Did you finish all your schedules today? I wasn't sure I was going to be here on time myself but my schedules went quick."

"Everything was fine. Same old, same old."

Silence. Just..silence until Kihyun spoke up once more.

"Can we not speak about work or things outside of just..us right now? Please?" His voice sounded small, a mixture of irritation and vulnerability while still trying to (almost failing) sound relaxed. Hyungwon took another sip of his hot drink, resting it between his hands on his lap.

"Well then..uh..what's the theme of our picture quest? Am I carrying your equipment, being your muse, your personal stand-in model…?"

"Picture quest? What are you talking about?"

Hyungwon couldn't help the slight tilt of his head as his gaze fixated on Kihyun. The shorter looked back, puzzled as his brows furrowed together.

"Yeah, Ki. You said earlier you wanted me to join you for your little photography adventure. Are we heading out soon or—"

"Right! Photography project. I did indeed say that." Kihyun's eyes darted to the side, avoiding eye contact with the other at the moment. Hyungwon couldn't help but observe the more quieted, anxious energy surrounding his friend. It was a feeling completely opposite to his normal bright, extroverted personality.

"...You didn't actually bring your equipment and had no plans to honestly go out today, did you?"

"What? No! I meant it when I said it! Are you actually doubting me right now?!"

"I'm not doubting you as much as I am calling you a bad liar, Kihyun." The taller sipped at his drink, watching the way the shorter puffed his cheeks trying to look offended at the statement. He could tell though Kihyun wasn't actually bothered by it, but that he almost felt a bit guilty by the frown that formed. 

"I did want to go today..but–" his voice sounded small, eyes moving to look at the ground as his hand started to fidget with the lid of his cup. "–but talking to you was more important. I had something I wanted to tell you and after I made the plans earlier I knew if we did go out I would either completely forget or lose my nerve. Frankly, I don't think I can keep putting it off. But..I am sorry for lying."

It was now that Hyungwon could really tell whatever was on his friend's mind was something far more serious than he anticipated. Normally they were a pair who thrived on teasing one another and having harmless, immature arguments and messing around. The fact Kihyun has called up early enough to set up to meet and talk should've been his first give away that it wasn't going to be their normal hangouts. 

The two had agreed after all at the beginning of their friendship they'd always give the other a heads up if they needed to talk seriously as a gesture to allow the other to mentally and emotionally prepare. So far, it worked and is how they kept their bond so strong over time without much miscommunication or emotional overloads. How he had even let the signs elude him made Hyungwon feel a tad embarrassed. Yet, even if he wasn't fully prepared like he should've been, he was here to listen to whatever the elder had to say and could handle it. The October day itself and being with his best friend was already a boost to his mood anyways.

"Kihyun, it's ok. You don't need to apologize. We always got another day. Right now though..you have something to say, right?" 

"Yeah. I just.." Kihyun removed a hand from his cup and rubbed the back of his neck before taking a deep breath. "..I just..am scared. My thoughts don't feel normal and I really don't want my thoughts causing problems between us."

"You think your thoughts could ruin us?"

"Mhm. They don't feel like good thoughts even though they're thoughts that make me feel happy."

"If they make you happy though, then it wouldn't hurt us. That's what I want for us. I want us to be happy. Sometimes our thoughts are the only things we have that see things the way they could be because–"

"–the rest of the world won't allow us to see those things, but we can allow ourselves to have them." Kihyun finished, completing the phrase the two had often said during the more heavy hearted times. 

It was a phrase Hyungwon and he spoke one day the year before when they were talking about their dreams and what they wanted out of the future. They had discussed how people tried to belittle or shoot down their dreams and what they wanted, but how their hopes and beliefs in each other was enough to push on. From then on, it became their own personal motto between the two, offering comfort when they wanted to be there for each other but may not have always had the means to do so.

"If whatever you feel is how you feel, then let that be it. Nobody should affect your own emotions. You're allowed to have thoughts and feelings. No matter what."

"You say that, but even I know that all thoughts and emotions can still negatively impact someone else or myself."

"They can, sure. Anything can impact others negatively. But–" Hyungwon could feel whatever was clouding up his friend's mind was something really affecting him. So he did what he did best: empathize and support. "–But I don't think calling and telling someone you'll buy them an herbal tea to sit and talk is the efforts of someone with negative intentions. You didn't ask me to be here for you to hurt me, Kihyun. Did you?"

"No..I wouldn't do that."

"Then let me help those thoughts of yours feel less scary. I promise it's ok." The taller's tone was a mix of reassurance and gentleness.

Kihyun took his drink and set it off to the other side of the bench, before taking a deep breath. The ever slight bite of a cold breeze turned both his and the other man's noses and cheeks a light pink. He brought his hand down from his neck only to fold his hands together, rubbing them to warm them up and give something to ground himself and his nerves. 

"What do you think…would ruin our friendship?" Kihyun asked, pausing the movement of his hands.

"I dunno. I don't sit and think about things going up in flames so I never really thought about it. I enjoy being around you and I like our friendship. I'm happy with you. So I don't like thinking of that sort of thing."

"You actually enjoy being around me? Even with how much we–" 

"Even with all the teasing and fighting? Yeah. I like it because it's our thing. Just you and I." Hyungwon answered confidently, a smile upon his lips.

"I like being around you too, Wonnie. A lot. I don't think there is anyone else I'd rather be around as much as you. No matter where we go or what we do, I just enjoy us. You're my best friend." Kihyun said, a small smile offered in return.

The two sat once again in silence, the sun setting a bit more as leaves rustled around on the sidewalks nearby and were pushed along by the breezes here and there. Between the two, there was now more of a nervous and tense atmosphere. Hyungwon still didn't know what was bothering Kihyun or what he had to say, but he now knew whatever it was clearly involved the two of them judging by the questioning and sudden fear concerning their friendship. Kihyun still was too anxious to say what he needed to despite how it was eating away at him the longer he kept it in. It felt like a standstill between the two.

"So..it's really nice out here isn't it?" Kihyun spoke a few moments later, his voice with an underlying guilt as he tried to avoid his feelings. "Autumn really is a perfect time. The world changing around us, the bite of the chilly air, the warmth of a nice coat and a hot drink. It feels almost magical, doe–"

"Kihyun. Stop trying to change the subject." Hyungwon retorted sharply, by this point his own cup was off to the side and his arm now sat folded against his chest. 

"I'm not trying to change the sub–" Kihyun tried to say defensively, a frown forming as he turned to look at the other.

"What are you so afraid of?" Hyungwon bluntly said, cutting Kihyun off. He wasn't trying to seem rude and he wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but he knew if he let his friend keep stalling and hiding behind his thoughts it'd only cause more problems. "I care a lot about you more than anyone else and we always say we trust each other. Yet, you can't trust me now when I tell you it's going to be okay. You know I would drop anything for you if you asked. You asked me to meet you because you had to talk. Now I am trying to be here for you, but you aren't letting me be!"

"It's not about trust! It's about me having feelings for you!!" Kihyun snapped, frustration laced within his tone and his eyes locked onto Hyungwon's own. 

All the pressure built up and the anxiety that he had felt from holding back dissipated with the words he spoke. It wasn't until he took a deep breath that he realized what he said, that he had told Hyungwon the truth and not in the delicate way he hoped to. Immediately, Kihyun shrunk back into himself, his gaze shifting downwards as he looked away in embarrassment and shame.

Hyungwon hadn't expected the sudden confession, his gaze fixated on his friend before him in surprise and he felt himself taken slightly aback. Kihyun..had feelings..for him? His best friend liked him? The taller could feel that familiar warmth in his chest, the feeling in his stomach he had earlier formed again as he replayed the words spoken in his mind. 

He had never really thought about if he had felt that way about Kihyun before, if he also had feelings for him because it was never something that crossed his mind. Hyungwon had always focused more on the moments with the shorter one, his attention more on the joy he felt when they were together. He had known he loved spending time with him. Their late night talks over the phone, the disagreement over salt versus sugar on cold bean soup noodles, the way they enjoyed sharing a drink late at night while singing sad ballads together…all of those moments were things Hyungwon loved most. And every moment he felt the happiest and felt the odd sensation in his stomach was when Kihyun was there. 

And then..it clicked. Hyungwon liked Kihyun too.

"Kihyun…you like me?" he asked calmly.

"...Yes. So much that..my heart tickles and I'm smiling all day." Rose pink dusted Kihyun's cheeks, his words came out nervously as he still couldn't bring himself to look up again. 

"I can't believe it…" Hyungwon whispered under his breath as he took in the words, shock still hitting him. This was all very real and Kihyun fell for him of all people. It still felt remarkably unbelievable.

Kihyun, however, shifted in his seat as he crossed his arms and shook his head lightly to himself, his frown becoming more prominent. He felt like he was being mocked and it was rather upsetting. He rolled his eyes and started to consider leaving, until he felt a hand come up to his shoulder. 

"Ki..please look at me." 

It was a gentle demand, no harshness to it alongside Hyungwon's brown eyes still looking at the one before him. Kihyun, albeit still nervous and cautious, gave in and finally turned to face him and looked up at Hyungwon. He was met with a soft expression and eyes that only showed fondness directed at him as the tension he felt seemed to release. And as they both looked at each other, the muted colors around them felt like they almost became more full of life and vibrancy. 

"I like you too." 

Hyungwon's smile became brighter as he spoke his own piece and watched as Kihyun's eyes widened at the returned confession. Rose pink cheeks became a brighter pink as the brunette was fully blushing now. 

And in that moment, Hyungwon took the chance to lean forward and with intention to prove his own feelings were real, he pressed a gentle kiss to Kihyun's lips. Soft lips pressed against his, tasting of a mixture of lip balm and herbal tea. It was nothing intense or overbearing, but instead chaste and meaningful. A kiss that showed sincerity and care. It was warm and reassuring, something Hyungwon wanted Kihyun to feel. Then he pulled away, his smile softening once again.

"I like you so much that you make me happy. I just wanna be with you. That's all I want. My day is all about you." He spoke with confidence, yet spoke quietly as if he wanted his words to be a secret only Kihyun was allowed to hear. 

Kihyun brought a hand up to feel his own lips as if he was mesmerized still by the kiss. Until he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as he finally started to smile. He saw the way the other's cheeks became a shade of pink as he finally started to blush. Laughter started to fill the space between them beside the smiles they both gave each other, both their shoulders relaxing in each other's presence. All the fear and insecurities that filled their time at the beginning finally started to break down, being carried away with the wind in company with the spoken words of two people in love.

"I didn't know you could be so cheesy, Hyungwonnie." He spoke between chuckles.

"Hey now..I learned from you. I just figured if you could be cheesy, I had to follow up with just as much cheese. Only felt fair." the black-haired one teased back with his own chuckles.

"I know I didn't teach you that kiss however. That was..really nice though. I don't think I ever felt something like that before.." Kihyun shyly admit.

"I did promise you everything would be okay and I always keep to my word. And your thoughts didn't ruin us. I think they only made things better. Don't you?" Hyungwon watched the way Kihyun nodded in response, as a comfortable silence fell between them. Longing gazes upon one another accompanied by smiles and words that didn't need to be spoken to show that what they felt was true. 

As time passed by between the two, the sun had finally started to set as they finally stood up and gathered their abandoned drinks to throw away. They walked beside one another, the lowered temperatures in the evening fall air nipping at their skin. As they tossed their trash in a nearby recycling bin, Hyungwon stopped in place to look at Kihyun once again.

"Hey, I know you canceled the photography adventure today, but what do you think about some evening photography with our phones and then dinner with me?"

"Hm...normally I prefer my camera setup, buuuut–" Kihyun brought his hand up to his chin, pretending as if he was going deep in thought before he chuckled, dropping his hand again. "–a photograph can come out just as good without it if you're with me. Let's go."

As the two started onwards again heading towards Kihyun's car, the briefest touch of their pinkies as they walked side by side promised the ending of what was a simple friendship and the beginning of something more for the two. The evening autumn air swirled again as leaves from the trees of the park were carried along before settling gently on the bench where Hyungwon and Kihyun sat and everything changed.